Today’s reading is a quote from Michel de Montaigne

To begin depriving death of its greatest advantage over us,
let us adopt a way clean
contrary to that common one;
let us deprive death of its strangeness,
let us frequent it, let us get used to it;
let us have nothing more often in mind than death…
We do not know where death awaits us: so let us wait for it everywhere.
To practice death is to practice freedom. A person who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be slave.  

I am grateful to join you here today.   I asked my guides to help me prepare a message that is helpful to you and me.  My fingers are crossed…

In the past few weeks, I have been wrestling again with death and mortality.  The 8th anniversary of our son’s death in Vietnam was August 29.  Right around that time, I came down with a non-COVID-19 cold/flu so I was under the weather for a time and came to church for our first September service wearing a mask.

 I felt better, then on September 6, one of my supervisors texted me that a retired colleague I last saw in July at Folk Fest and who had been an inspiration in my life had unexpectedly died.  I cried.  A couple days later, I got news another retired colleague who had comforted me while I grieved my son’s death, had also died.  Tears again.  

The unexpectedness of their deaths connected me to my feelings of shock when my son unexpectedly died.  My emotional boat, floundering around somewhat, was now swamped.  I became sick and ended up on antibiotics which thankfully helped.

I know without a doubt there is a connection between mind and body.  In spite of my belief in spirit’s continuation after we leave our bodies, the events of those weeks had taken a toll on my body.  A reset was needed.   Working on preparing this message was part of my reset.

Looking back, I saw another important factor to my becoming ill that I had not considered.  While processing the unexpected deaths of the two dear colleagues, I shared emotional experiences with friends and colleagues also affected by these deaths.  These friends and colleagues also experienced shock and grief.

We are all connected.  One of our principles as Spiritualists is that we acknowledge “Unity and Equality of all.”  But as a society, we are generally not taught we are energetically connected with others.  If I do something that’s harmful to you, it’s also harmful to me.  If you feel sorrow or anger, the ripples of your emotions wash up on the shores of my being and have impact.

One of my spiritual teachers taught me to be aware of and separate from the emotional states of others for the sake of perspective.  At times, I talked with him when I was feeling sad or down. He told me to give myself permission to feel only what was mine of the feeling and let go of what was not mine.  When I remembered to do this, I usually felt an immediate lightening of the load. I had a recent experience when I was driving to meet with someone for an appointment. 

I felt an overwhelming anxiety and dreaded going.  As I was driving, I gave myself permission to feel only my feelings and immediately experienced a lighter, freer feeling. The dread was gone.  

The appointment went surprisingly well and I learned the person I met with experienced severe and debilitating anxiety.  By thinking about that person prior to the appointment, I had connected with that person’s anxiety which became mixed with my own emotional state.

That was a reminder for me again …thoughts are things and even though people may not admit to having thoughts, we can still be affected by them.  People may not be aware of their own feelings about a person or situation but their feelings can still affect us.  I find it valuable to practice letting go of the emotions that are not mine to carry.

Thoughts are things.  We are creators of our own reality.  We can create a reality filled with love and light, a softer, warmer reality which attracts the highest and best spirit guides, helpers and angels under the white Christ light.  

Sometimes we start to move to a place of judgment about something we have observed.  We may feel anger, disappointment or frustration.  We can choose to observe that feeling without buying into it and just let it float on by.  If we catch ourselves allowing our thoughts to go in a negative direction about a situation, we can instead, “Breathe in light through our Crown chakra and breathe out love through our heart chakra towards that situation.”  

I learned from Heather and Glenn what to do when I am feeling some negative emotion about someone, be it anger, worry, envy, fear or frustration.  I visualize a beautiful oval picture frame with a picture of that person happy, smiling and healthy with a beautiful sunshiny scene in the background and send that picture to them across the ethers.  Thoughts are things.

Our natural inclination may be not to be so generous as to send positive energies towards someone we are angry with or envious towards.  Yet we too are blessed by the positive energy that Creator uses us as a channel to send others.  We, as the channel for this positive energy, experience healing.

Going back to the reading at the beginning of this talk and the quote “We do not know where death awaits us…”  

As Spiritualists, we talk about death with more comfort than most religions and death does not present the same finality and disconnection. Yet, I was rattled by the unexpected deaths of two colleagues who were my friends.  How can I move from simple belief in continuation of the spirit after death to true knowing?  

While I was preparing this talk, I spoke with one of my spiritual teachers about the events of the past few weeks and my recent illnesses.  His advice to me was simple.  In order to be really at peace with death, I needed to spend more time in peaceful meditation visiting the other side, visiting my son and others I love who are already there.  These visits will help me “know” the continuation of spirit after death and to know I can continue to communicate with them after they die.  However, I would still have some emotions related to the physical deaths of loved ones as I adjust to not having their physical presence in my day to day life.

I thought back to an experience I had just four months prior to my son’s death. I had been visiting the same spiritual teacher and told him that, for the first time I could recall, I was fearful of dying.  He agreed to help me explore this more.  With this teacher as my conductor, I entered into the experience of “dying” and felt myself ascending and expanding. Worries and anxieties about life and death were shed.  Freedom and light lifted me. The feeling was glorious!  Then I returned to my body. Looking back, I think my guides were preparing me for what was to come just a few months later.

Earlier this week, one of my co-workers was affected by the anniversary date of her father’s death.  Her father had been loving, an incredible support and teacher through her life.  I tuned into the love and longing felt by my colleague and sensed her father reaching back with love and providing comfort.  I can still feel their emotions and am awed by the power of their connection. A small reminder for me that “Love indeed crosses all dimensions and never dies.”  

I wish to thank my guides for their help in preparing this talk.  May Creator bless you all, today and always.